Soulless (Lawless #2) Read online

  “Thanks,” she said. “Cheers.” Rage raised her glass to me and took a sip.

  As much as I couldn’t stand the girl when we’d first met, I really started to like Rage. We talked. I mean I talked and she mostly gave vague responses back, but it was companionship nonetheless, and lord knows that being in that house alone would have driven me up the biggest cliff in crazy town until I was sailing off the edge.

  Which is why I almost felt bad when I crushed three Ambien into her Dr. Pepper.

  Almost.

  Ten minutes later her eyes closed and her head fell back against the pillow. “Sleep well,” I sang as she began to snore softly. I quickly dressed in my best sundress. A short, light blue, spaghetti-strapped number with tiny white flowers that made my legs look a lot longer than they were and my chest a lot bigger than it was.

  The serious nature of what had to be done required a serious dress.

  I grabbed a bike from the shed that probably hadn’t been ridden since the seventies, pumped some air into the tires which were seriously lacking tread, and peddled into town with my constant companion, Pancakes, running close behind my back wheel for the fist mile before growing bored and running off behind some trees in search of better entertainment.

  Trust me, his note had said. And I did trust him. I trusted him enough to know that he would die for me, and six months was pushing the limits on borrowed time. After hearing Rage on the phone, it didn’t sound like there was much hope for month seven.

  I was done waiting.

  There was a certain deputy sheriff I was going to see, and although the last time I’d seen him ended with him locking me in a cell, and Bear almost murdering him, I had to at least try.

  And I hoped the good deputy would be agreeable to what I had planned, because I wasn’t leaving until I got what I’d come for.

  I patted the messenger bag I’d slung across my chest that held the gun I’d taken from Rage.

  No matter what.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Thia

  I dropped my bike in front of the hardware store and looked around for Buck’s police cruiser. When I didn’t see it, I popped inside where I found Ted standing behind the counter in his usual attire of overalls, and not much else covering his huge belly. He was polishing something with a dirty rag. When he heard the door chime, he set whatever it was down and came around the counter. “Thia,” he said, with a sympathetic smile. “I was so sorry to hear about your parents. How you holding up?”

  “I’m all right, Ted,” I said, appreciative for his concern. Most of the people of Jessep were raging gossips. It’s the small town way. Ted’s always been the first one to ask me about me without joining in on the rumor mill. “You seen Buck around?” I asked, needing to see my friend ASAP.

  Or my ex friend.

  Or whatever he was.

  Ted shook his head. “Not yet today, but sometimes I see him parked behind the diner ’round this time. You could check there.”

  “Thanks, Ted.” I spun around to rush back out the door, but Ted stopped me.

  “You know, I met your Bear last time he was in here,” Ted said. “He’s a good one. I can tell. We bonded over bike parts and being outcast bikers.” Ted smiled and I could tell it meant a lot to him to meet one of his own. Bear had told me about their conversation and I’d been surprised. I’d known Ted my entire life and in our small town I’d never heard a soul utter a single word about him being an ex member of the Wolf Warriors MC.

  “He told me,” I said, offering him a tight-lipped smile.

  “Good,” he said, straightening a stack of Auto Trader magazines by the door. “He’s a good kid and I know he didn’t have nothin’ to do with the way your parents went out, but from the look in your eyes I can see you already know that.” It sounded so weird to hear someone call Bear a kid, because to me he was the furthest thing from it.

  “I do know that,” I admitted with one hand still on the door handle.

  “I’ll tell you the same thing I told him when he came in here. I may be an old man and retired, but my club knows I’m still here, just inactive, and I’ve still got friends in the life. If Buck can’t give you the kind of help I think you’re looking for, then you come see me.” Ted walked toward the register and reached behind the counter. He pulled out a shotgun, resting it high on his shoulder like he was a soldier going to battle. “I can still be pretty persuasive when I need be,” he said. The evil glint in his eye made me instantly believe him. It was like I was seeing Ted for the first time and it made me realize something, if I were being honest.

  I liked this Ted.

  “Thanks, Ted,” I said. With that, he tipped his hat and put the shotgun away. He went back to his polishing as if Biker Ted had never been there, slipping easily back into the role of Hardware Store Ted.

  “You tell him I said hello,” He added, as if I just came in to buy a quart of oil.

  I was touched by Ted’s offer, but what I really needed right then was someone who had a connection.

  A way in.

  There was only one person I knew who could help me. With one last wave to Ted I rushed out the door in search of the only person in Jessep who had such a connection.

  And who may or may not hate my guts.

  * * *

  I found Buck in his cruiser behind the diner, exactly where Ted had said he would be. He wore mirrored aviator sunglasses, and although I couldn’t see his eyes, I knew they were shut. His head was tilted back against the reclined seat, his mouth wide open as he snored away. The sun reflected off his badge as he breathed in and out, making it look as if it were a light bulb being turned on and off.

  “Bucky!” I shouted, slamming my open palm on the roof of the cruiser, startling him back to consciousness. His head connected with the headliner as he jumped up in surprise.

  “It’s Deputy Douglas,” he mumbled the familiar correction as he came out of his haze, catching his sunglasses as they fell off his face and rubbing the top of his head. “Thia?” he asked, squinting against the sun.

  “The one and only,” I said, leaning up against the cruiser. Buck reached for the handle and I stepped back to let him out, but before he did so he put on his ridiculous wide-brimmed sheriff’s hat that made him look like Deputy Dog from the cartoon we used to watch as kids.

  “So, the prodigal daughter returns,” Buck said in his slowest and thickest southern drawl. He hung his sunglasses from the collar of his shirt and assumed a very wide “I’m a police officer” stance, tucking his thumbs into his gun belt. “You know, last time you left I thought I’d never see you again, especially after your boyfriend decided to try and kill me,” he said the word boyfriend like he was waiting for me to correct him, and although I didn’t think that word was accurate enough to describe what we were, I didn’t have time to go over the specifics of our relationship.

  “In all fairness Buck, you were being an ass by locking me in that cell, but never mind. There isn’t time for that. I need your help. That’s why I’m here.”

  “Oh, now you need my help? We used to be friends, but six months ago I get a call that your parents are dead and that you’re on the run, but I didn’t hear it from you. I had to hear it from the sheriff himself. Then I find out that the guy you ran off with last time is now in jail for murder and you still never came to me. So tell me, Thia, why I should help you now, when my oldest friend couldn’t be bothered to come to me in the first place?” This time he didn’t seem pissed. The sarcasm that he put up when I first banged on the roof had faded away. His shoulders fell. The front he tried so hard to put in place was shattering.

  Buck wasn’t angry.

  He was hurt.

  Suddenly, I felt bad, although what he was saying wasn’t entirely true. “We’d grown apart, Buck. It wasn’t like you were the best of friend to me either. Once my family started falling apart and the entire town started calling me Crazy Thia Andrews, it was like I didn’t exist to you anymore.”

  “I might be t
he law, but you could have come to me.” Buck dropped the official stance, mirroring me and leaning up against the cruiser. “You have to have known you could have come to me, Thia.” Buck and I used to share everything, and me not going to him when my parents died was because of one very simple reason. I never thought to. I thought of Bear, getting to him, and nothing else.

  “I’m here now,” I said. “And I promise, I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

  “Might be too late for that now,” Buck said, scratching his head and looking down at his feet.

  “Just listen, and if you don’t want anything to do with me ever again, I’ll disappear and you won’t ever see me again.” I put my hand on his shoulder, a gesture I hoped would be reassuring. He looked up at me, his dark brown eyes searched mine. “I’ll disappear for good this time.”

  “Get in,” Buck said, opening the driver’s side door. I rounded the cruiser, barely able to contain my excitement. I got into the passenger seat while he took off his hat and settled into the driver’s seat. I opened my mouth to start to tell him the truth, in hopes that he’d return the favor, when he held up his hand to stop me. “Something we got to get out of the way first,” he said with a straight face. My stomach sank. Every second that ticked by was another second too many.

  “What?” I asked with as much calmness as I could muster.

  “First, you have to pinkie swear,” Buck said, holding out his pinkie. I took it in my own and we both kissed the backs of our hands, like we had a thousand times before.

  “I promise I will tell you the truth if you promise to keep an open mind,” I said.

  “Deal,” Buck agreed, a small smile creeping onto his face. We dropped pinkies and I began to tell him everything, from my parents’ death—the real story—to Bear, to the club. The entire time, I clutched the ring I no longer hid under my shirt for support. I had to force the words from my mouth, but I kept my part of the deal while Buck kept his, listening to every word. After a few minutes it got less difficult and the words flowed smoother. The air around us grew lighter, reminding me of the once easy going friendship we used to have.

  When I was done talking and the truth was out there, I sat back against the seat and waited for Buck to say something. “Do you love him?” he asked, surprising me. Of all the questions he could have asked about what I’d just said, that’s the first one that sprang to his mind?

  “Yeah, I do,” I admitted. “Very much.”

  Buck sighed and scratched the stubble on his chin. “Then where do we go from here?” he asked, meeting my gaze for the first time since I’d arrived.

  “You’ll help me?” I asked, trying to combat the hope that was threatening to explode inside of me.

  “I pinkie swore, didn’t I?” Buck asked, wagging his pinkie in the air.

  “Thank you!” I squealed, launching myself at him and hugging him close.

  “You’re strangling me,” Buck choked out. I released him from my sumo hold.

  “Sorry,” I said, settling back into the seat.

  “That’s okay,” Buck said, looking rather amused. “Now, I know you wouldn’t come here without some sort of plan. So spill it. What do you have going on in that pretty pink head of yours?” He had the same mischievous look on his face that he’d had when we were kids, right before we did something that resulted in neither of us being allowed to see one another again until whatever grounding period that had been bestowed upon us was over.

  “Well,” I started, not knowing what his reaction would be to what I was about to suggest. “Are you still friends with Dr. Hurley?”

  “Dr. Hurley…the coroner?” Buck asked, scrunching his face. I nodded. “Sure, I still play poker with him every Tuesday, but…where exactly are you going with this, Thia?”

  “Where I’m going is anywhere and everywhere that can lead to Bear getting out of that jail cell as soon as possible. Stealing evidence. Botching the coroner’s reports. Maybe we can get Dr. Hurley to say that even though Bear confessed that there is no possible way he could have done it. I don’t know. I hadn’t thought through the specifics, but I just need to do something. ANYTHING.” I twisted my hands in my lap. “Before it’s too late.”

  Buck looked at me with an eyebrow raised and his jaw resting thoughtfully on his hand. “I get it. I do. But…” He paused and looked out the front windshield as if there was something out there to see besides the dumpster and the back wall of the diner. “Why him? Why you think that this guy is your hero or something? I hate to say it Thia, but in a way, don’t you feel like you’re betraying your parents by being with this guy? Like maybe you’re only with him because you’re pissed that they’re dead and this is your way to get back at them.”

  “Buck,” I started, as calmly as I possibly could, trying to ignore what he’d just said about Bear being some sort of post mortem rebellion. “You can ask me all this and I can answer you, but can we do that while we drive to Dr. Hurley’s office? Please. I’m begging you.”

  “I told you I’d help you and I will but answer me first,” Buck demanded. “Don’t you think if your parents could see you now that they’d be pissed at what you’re doing…with him?” He scrunched his nose and said him as if he’d gotten a whiff of skunk spray.

  Any control over my calmness I had snapped.

  “What do you want me to say, Bucky?” I asked, throwing my hands in the air. “Do you want me to tell you that I wish I’d just died with my parents? Because I won’t. My father used to be a great man, but for the last few years he’d been everything but great. He fell apart because my mom fell apart. He was weak because she was weak. And when they faded away and I was working three jobs to try and hold it all together, I had NOBODY. Tell me Buck, where were you then? Because I don’t remember you coming to my rescue.” Buck opened his mouth but I wasn’t done. “I’m not like them. I won’t crumble. I won’t make excuses. I refuse to wish away my life because they didn’t know how to live theirs, without yielding under the weight of their own bullshit. And I’ll tell you something else, I lived through the most horrible night of my life, because I was strong and I’ll survive this now because I’m strong.”

  “Thia—” Bucky started, regret written all over his face.

  “You’re wrong about one other thing too,” I said, reaching for the door handle. “I don’t think Bear is my hero. I don’t need him to be my hero. Love isn’t about wanting a hero, it’s about wanting to be one for the other person.”

  I made a move to get out of the car but Buck reached over and held onto my arm. “I want to be yours,” he said, taking me by complete surprise. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  “What?”

  “Ever since we were kids I thought it would be me and you in the end. Then suddenly it was like you got that ring”—more skunk smell—“and at first, I thought it was a silly kid thing like when you had that weird crush on Al Pacino and wall papered your room with posters from Scarface and The Godfather. But then he showed up here, and I knew it was him right away. That’s when I knew I’d lost you.”

  “Bucky,” I said, sympathetically placing my hand over his which was still on my arm. “We can start over. Be friends again,” I offered, hoping it would be enough.

  Buck shook his head, and although I took my hand off of his, he didn’t release my arm. “Thia, that’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

  I sighed. “That’s why you stopped coming around,” I said, realizing the reason for the gradual rift in our friendship wasn’t because he couldn’t handle my family’s drama or hardship but because he wanted to be more than just my friend. Which only managed to piss me off. “Wait, let me get this straight. You wanted to be more than my friend and you knew that wasn’t what I wanted, so you decided that our friendship wasn’t worth it?”

  Buck nodded. “Yeah, and I’m sorry, it was stupid of me, but I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know what to do.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Oh, you knew wha
t to do all right. You abandoned me during the hardest time in my life because you had a crush. How noble of you.” I rolled my eyes and made another move to get out, but Buck’s hand tightened around my arm. “If you’re not going to help me get him out then I’ll just do it myself. He’s in trouble Buck, I have to go so stop—”

  “Thia,” Bucky interrupted, putting his hand up.

  “What?” I asked, blowing out a frustrated breath at his interruption.

  He quirked an eyebrow at me and searched my face. “You really don’t know, do you?” Buck asked.

  “Know what?”

  “This whole time I thought you were lying to me. Trying to get me to do something for you but I couldn’t figure out what. I didn’t think you didn’t know though.”

  “Know what, Buck?” I repeated.

  “Bear, or whatever you call him. He’s not in jail. He’s out. He’s been out.”

  “What?” A weight started to lift off my shoulders…until it crashed back down on me with more force than ever. “No, that can’t be true. He would of…”

  “It’s true. And he didn’t,” Buck quipped, cutting me off. He leaned back, the leather seat creaking underneath him.

  I wanted nothing more than to punch the smug look off his face.

  “How long?” I asked, my disappointment quickly turning to anger. I tightened my grip on the door handle once more. Any harder and I’d be snapping it off.

  Buck shrugged. “Just about two weeks or so. Case was dismissed. The DA botched the paperwork. The signed confession went missing along with pretty much all of the evidence collected at the scene. Finger prints, even the two guns. Something tells me that lawyer lady had something to do with it. I did some research on her. This wasn’t the first case she was involved in where evidence magically disappeared and it’s not like…”