Perversion Read online

  “I’m not okay,” she rasps with a sputtering cough. “I’m never okay.”

  My chest tightens. “I’m taking you somewhere safe,” I tell her, pressing my foot to the gas.

  “There is nowhere safe,” she groans. Then, she says something that rattles me down to my bones. “He found the bus tickets. There’s nowhere and no one who’s safe. Not even Grim. But take me to him, anyway. Please, just take me to Grim.”

  She slumps over. Her head lands heavily onto my lap.

  Then, nothing.

  Twenty-Four

  I open my eyes, and everything hurts. As I wake, the pain grows from sharp to dull. I’m also naked and in the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been in. I look around and realize I’ve been in it before.

  Grim’s bed. How did I get here?

  I try to recall the events that led me to being here, but the last thing I remember is swirling stars.

  Gabby. Shit! I must get to Gabby. I glance at the clock on the nightstand. It’s four A.M. I still have three hours. I exhale and wince at the pain.

  I sit up, and although I’m in pain, I decide to ignore it because the pain in my head isn’t shit when it comes to the pain I’ll feel if I don’t get to Gabby in time. I hear voices on the other side of the door so I stand, wrapping the sheet around my body I shuffle toward them.

  “She’ll be fine. She’s bruised and scraped up pretty bad, but it’s not life-threatening. She’s got herself a few cracked ribs. A minor concussion. It could be a lot worse. She’s a tough one, though,” I hear Marci say. “When she’s up, we all need to talk.”

  “She’s not going back there,” Grim grinds.

  Belly coughs before collecting himself. “We already know Marco’s the one jacking our trucks. He’s probably the one responsible for the rain of bullets in the park, too. He’s looking for a reason to start a war. The truce has only got a month left on it. I doubt he’ll be making an offer to extend it if he comes up with one.”

  “She’s not going back there,” Grim says again. “And that’s final.”

  Belly pauses. “I understand, son. And I’m going to leave this one in your hands. I expect you to make the right decision. For all involved.”

  I open the door. “I’m going back,” I say.

  The three of them look to me.

  “Tricks,” Grim says with a shake of his head.

  “No. Marco said that if I didn’t get back to him by morning or my dead body didn’t show up on his doorstep, he’d do the same thing to Gabby that he did to me. Only, he’d make sure she didn’t survive. I can’t do that to her. I’m going back.”

  “We can figure out a way,” Grim begins.

  “No, there is no other way. I’ll come back with Gabby when it’s safe,” I say with as much determination as my scratchy voice can muster.

  “I knew you were a good one from the second I laid eyes on you,” Belly says, pulling me in for a gentle, yet firm hug. I’ve never been hugged like this in my life, and I find myself overwhelmed by it. I burrow into the comfort of his big body. “Don’t do this because you think anything will happen to you by our hands if you don’t. You’re family. Always have been. We tried to bring you home years ago. It’s about damn time you finally got here. You got a place here, regardless of what you decide.”

  I look to Grim whose jaw is in a hard line. “Do I?” I ask.

  His answer is a simple nod.

  Grim

  “I can’t be the reason people die,” Tricks says.

  I stare down at her beautiful battered face. “You won’t. Marco is going to find a way to start a war regardless of whether you go back or not.”

  “But I can’t be the reason, Grim,” she explains. “I just can’t. I have to get Gabby out. I can’t leave her there. I won’t.”

  I pull her into the room and sit her down on the bed. We’re both silent for a moment. The space fills with tension and unspoken words.

  “I fucked up. Marci told me everything,” I finally say.

  She holds up her hand. “Let’s not do this. Not yet. Not now. You don’t owe me anything. I’m going to prove myself. I’m going to help take down Marco. When I’m free of him and Los Muertos, we can talk. Regardless, I’ll come back. I promise.”

  “Belly was right. You don’t have to do this,” I say, holding her hands in mine.

  “I know, but for the first time in my life, I want to.” The sincerity in her voice strikes me like a fist to the heart. “It’s the only way to see my way clear of all this bullshit and keep Gabby alive.” Tricks winces as she begins to unwrap the bandages from around her ribs.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Showing up to the compound all patched up is going to raise a lot of questions I’m not going to want to answer.”

  She’s right. Fuck, I hate this, but she’s right. I help her unwrap the rest, revealing the purple bruises along her torso which match the cuts and bruises around both of her swollen eyes.

  Marci comes in, holding an oversized T-shirt with a ridiculous image of cats climbing a rope. “Wear this. You can say you picked it off a clothesline.”

  “Thank you,” Tricks says. She reaches for the shirt, but I grab it first, gently tugging it over her head.

  “Sandy will take you in the van and drop you as close as he can to the compound without being noticed. The rest is up to you,” Marci says.

  Tricks nods. The corner of her lip is caked with dried blood.

  I look at Marci. “She’ll need something else,” I say.

  “What?” Tricks asks.

  “He did this because he wants your loyalty, right?”

  Tricks nods, but confusion lines her face. “Yeah. Since I won’t give it to him, he thought he’d beat it out of me.”

  I growl. “Marci, Belly, we need to give her something to bring back. Something important she can show him to let him think his loyalty test actually worked.”

  Belly stands behind Marci. He nods in understanding, then takes off his Bedlam ring, and tosses it to me. “That should work. I take it off when I work on my bike. I set it on the shelf closest to the door. You can say you swiped it to prove yourself.”

  I hold out the ring to Tricks. “Marco wants loyalty, and this is how you’re going to give it to him.”

  Tricks takes it from my hands. “Thank you,” she says, her eyes welling up with tears.

  I push a stray hair from her face and look deeply into her eyes. I need her to see how serious I am. “Stay out of Marco’s way as much as possible. If he so much as touches you, I’m coming for you.”

  “We all will,” Belly chimes in.

  “And then what?” she asks.

  “We’ll kill everyone who stands in our way to get to you, and I’ll tear Marco apart limb from motherfucking limb.” I hold her face gently in my hands. “Just make it back to me, Tricks.”

  “I will. I promise I will.”

  I know without a doubt that she thinks she’s telling the truth, but dread still fills my entire body.

  Because promising something you can’t know for sure is still a lie.

  Twenty-Five

  Sandy drops me off in an alley a few blocks from the compound. Wearing my cat shirt with Belly’s ring tucked in my pocket, I walk through the gates.

  “Hey, the bitch is alive. Look at that,” Gil, who is standing guard out front, whistles. “Marco isn’t here, but I’ll make sure to tell him you made it.”

  “Fuck off,” I spit. I shuffle to the apartment. It takes more than twenty minutes to make it up the three flights of stairs.

  Gabby opens the door as I reach the top. “Holy shit. You’re alive!” she says, hugging me too tightly. I groan. “I’m so sorry. Leo told me what happened. I was imagining the worst. The very worst.” Tears pour from her eyes as she helps me inside.

  “Shower,” I groan.

  She helps me to the bedroom, and I sit down on the bed. I grab my backpack and tuck Belly’s ring deep inside while Gabby runs to the bathroom to star
t the shower. I want to tell her everything, but I don’t. Not just because I don’t have the energy, but because the less she knows the better.

  I take a nap next to Gabby, and when I wake up, it’s dark out. I pop a few Advil for the soreness and the pain because I have more to worry about right now then my aching body. I dress silently so I won’t wake Gabby. Then, I grab my backpack.

  I sneak out the door, shutting it slowly so it barely makes a click.

  Then, I head straight for Marco’s building.

  Marco’s lights are out. Hopefully, he’s out for the night and won’t be back anytime soon. I had an idea on the way over here. If I can find proof that Marco’s the one responsible for the trucks or the park shooting, then The Immortals will be on Bedlam’s side to take Marco out. And I can go back to Bedlam with Gabby the second it’s safe.

  The sooner I find something, the sooner I can do just that.

  There is only one soldier out front when I approach. I recognize him as a guy they call Fright. “I have something for Marco. I just want to go up and put it in his office.”

  I lift my backpack from my shoulder to indicate that the ‘something’ is inside.

  “Ain’t no one allowed up,” he says, staring over me, scanning the area.

  “It’s me, Fright, not some ho looking to wreck his shit because he never called. I made it back, didn’t I? TRUST me. He’ll be super pissed if I DON’T leave this for him.”

  “I said I’m not allowed to…”

  “Fine,” I reposition my bag on my shoulder and point at his chest and raise my voice. “But, when Marco asks me why it’s not in his office, I’ll have to tell him it was because you wouldn’t let me put it there.”

  He rolls his eyes and sighs, repositioning his gun in his left arm. “Fine. Just be quick. In and out. Leave your shit on his table, and don’t touch anything.”

  “Yes, sir,” I say in a low masculine voice, clicking my heels together and giving him a sarcastic salute. I chuckle as I walk past him.

  At some point, Fright will tell Marco I was there. I don’t need to give either of them any indication that something is off or any reason to suspect me of anything other than being persistent to the point of annoying.

  I open Marco’s office door and feel the wall for the light. I don’t know what I’m even looking for. A file. An email? A fucking sticky note?

  I’ll probably know it when I see it.

  I finally find the light and click it on. No sooner is the room bathed in light than I’m slammed up against the wall.

  Marco.

  My wrists are pinned above my head.

  “You made it back,” he states. The familiar blue vein throbs in his forehead. His eyes are bloodshot, and I can smell the liquor on his breath as it lands hot against my face. He spreads my legs with his knee, further pinning me in place.

  “Here I thought you’d be happy about it,” I say. “You sound disappointed.”

  He releases one arm just long enough to smack me across the face. The stinging hurts, but it also helps put my mask firmly in place. The one he can’t penetrate.

  The one I’m damned good at wearing.

  “Just the opposite,” he says. “I’m surprised.”

  “I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t try anything again. I wanted to come back to show you that,” I say, eyes downcast. “I want to prove that I can be loyal.”

  “Oh yeah? And how do you plan on doing that?” Marco asks. “By sneaking into my office?” He grabs my face in his hands and squeezes my jaw.

  “I wasn’t sneaking. I went straight through the front door, past the guard. Ask him,” I cry out. His hold on me tightens. “I have something for you.”

  He leans closer until his lips move against my jaw. “Oh yeah, and what the fuck is that?”

  “In my backpack,” I say.

  He releases me and grabs the backpack at my feet. He unzips it and pulls out the ring. He holds it up to inspect it in the light. “Belly’s,” he says with an amused grin.

  “You told me to be valuable to you. You told me that our family comes first,” I say. OUR FAMILY tastes bitter in my mouth, but the words are enough to make Marco lean back so he can look me in my lying eyes. “I saw Belly’s bike parked outside of a house on my way back. He was working on it. He took off his ring and went inside. I snagged it before he came back out. I walked all the way through Bedlam territory holding onto their leader’s ring. For you.”

  Marco takes a few deep breaths and grabs my face in both hands. Gentler this time. “I knew you’d come around,” he says, planting a long, lingering kiss on my lips.

  It takes everything I have not to knee him in the balls. Instead, I stay as still as possible. I make a decision while his thin lips are on mine. If Marco so much as hurts me again, Grim won’t have to come here with an army.

  I’ll kill Marco myself.

  When he finally pulls away, I speak again, mostly so he won’t kiss me. “There’s more. They were talking in the garage. Whoever they were, they’re planning something else. Something big,” I say. “Not sure what it is because I only heard the words something big followed by Los Muertos, but I thought you should know.”

  “Those pieces of shit!” Marco roars, taking the bait.

  The number one rule of magic is distraction. Give them something to focus on while you’re doing something else. What’s a better distraction while I’m trying to find proof of his broken truce promises than sending him on a wild goose chase?

  Marco punches a filing cabinet, leaving a crater-sized dent on the side.

  Marco is easy to play, but he’s also easy to set off. Walking on eggshells is more like tiptoeing on shards of glass when it comes to choosing my words around him. I’d have to be smart about this. Plan my moves wisely.

  Marco steps back, and I feel like I can finally breathe with some space between us. He’s deep in thought with his chin resting in his hand, silently moving his lips and shaking his head. He’s also smiling in a way that sends chills down my entire body.

  “I mean, I’m sorry if I upset you,” I say. “If this information isn’t useful to you—”

  “It is. And I want more. You’ll find it out for me. You’ll find out how they plan on taking down my shipment. Every fucking detail.”

  “Okay,” I agree, feeling downright victorious. The feeling doesn’t last long. “But how?”

  “However, you need to. You’re crafty. Come up with something.” His eyes narrow. “But if I find out you’re playing me somehow, EJ, I’ll kill you myself. But not before I make you watch as I burn down that house of Bedlam with the entire fucking crew and Gabby inside.”

  He’s trying to get me to crack, but it’s not gonna happen. I shift into annoying little sister mode.

  “Don’t be so dramatic, Marco. After I get you what you want, you can do whatever the hell you want to them, but leave Gabby and me out of it. I’m not much for burnt corpses and screaming. You might want to take Memo with you on that one.” I make a disgusted face just as Memo walks in the door. “I hear he’s into that kind of thing.”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Marco says to Memo. “We’ve got a situation that was just brought to my attention.”

  “Got some news of my own, boss,” Memo says.

  Memo nods. Then, Marco turns to me one last time. “If you don’t get me what I need…”

  “Guts on the street signs, gang bangs, watch Bedlam burn. You got it, boss. I’ll get it,” I say, giving him a thumbs up and an eye roll. I turn around and head out the door.

  Memo’s words stop me.

  “Well, you won’t be watching all of them burn. One’s already dead,” Memo says. “The old man. Had a heart attack a couple of hours ago. My man at the hospital says the old fuck was DOA.” He laughs, and my heart lurches into my stomach.

  Belly.

  Marco grins. “I know how you can get me the info, EJ. You see, it’s a custom for the leaders in Lacking to attend the funeral of their fallen enemies, but y
ou know me, I’ve never been one for customs. You’re to go in my place, and you won’t be hiding who you are. You’ll be representing me. Find out all you can while you’re there. Funerals have a way of loosening lips.”

  Marco doesn’t just want for me to find out information, he wants to insult Bedlam by not showing his face and sending me in his place.

  I nod and keep the smile on my face while I’m screaming on the inside. I know that if I open my mouth, that scream is going to come up along with everything else I’ve ever eaten.

  “Dismissed,” Marco says, turning to Memo.

  I leave them and head down the stairs. I take out my phone and call Gabby as I leave. She answers on the first ring. The number one rule of faking a phone call is to actually make a call. If your screen isn’t lit up or if it rings in the middle of your fake conversation, you’re done. I swallow down the anxiety rising in my throat.

  “Hello? EJ?” Gabby asks over and over again on the other end.

  I pretend she can hear me as I walk past Fright. “OMG, Gabby, your brother needs to lighten up or those frown lines are not going to get any better.” I look down at my nails. “You wanna watch the new Ryan Reynolds flick on Netflix tonight? Leo says we can use her lap top and hack into the tower for WIFI again. I hear him and his wife are on the outs, which naturally gives at least one of us a shot.”

  I even go so far as to pretend to be chewing gum. I take the time to stop and tie my shoe so I don’t seem like I’m in a hurry to get away. Ignoring the instinct to run is tearing me apart. I’m burning up from the inside out.

  “If you wanna watch the Lady Gaga documentary again, can we do it after Ryan Reynolds? Last time, you fell asleep, and I couldn’t sing along to any of the songs because I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “EJ, is everything okay? What the fuck is going on? Where did you go?” Gabby asks, sounding as panicked as I feel.

  I stand back up, ignoring the aching pains in my body and give Fright a wink. I head in the direction of the apartment I share with Gabby.